Friday, February 23, 2007

Attack of the killer love songs..

Based on a true life story...
[With humble apologies to ---a :) ]
[As the curtain raises, ---a is sitting on a reclining chair, in front of her computer, staring at some old buggy code. She is feeling very light at heart and decides to listen to some music. She starts listening to one of those overly mushy, nostalgia inducing, extremely slow, brain saturating hindi songs titled "pal pal dil ke pass". Suddenly, a chat window pops up]

dddg: ---a! what doing?
---a: Listening to an old love song..
dddg: I keep trying to explain the harmful effects of romantic love songs to you, but you never listen. One day, you will know the consequences..
---a: Consequences, schmonsequences! As long as I am high!!
---a: Aaah.. this song is so good. I feel like leaning back as if I am leaning back in time...

[---a leans back on her chair. Over does it. The chair flips and falls. ---a lands head first on the floor. Throws the mouse which hits the ceiling and gets stuck in the ceiling fan. The fan starts making screeching sounds and produces caustic fumes due to the melting of the coil inside. Her feet hits the keyboard and keyboard flies outside the window. People downstairs panic and run to the first floor. ---a quickly gets up and starts jumping around surrounded by fumes and makes it look like she was dancing]

---a: I am fine.. I am fine..
People who came up: ---a! What happened!!?
---a: I am fine.. I am fine.. It was nothing..

[Jumps around to proove she is in control and has not lost brain-hand-eye co-ordination]

People who came up: OMG! you scared the heck out of us..

[---a now gathers the key board and gets back to chatting, narrates the story to dddg]

---a: gotta go.. neck pains, brain still shakes.. and I dont know what I will do with the fan...

[Transformer outside her home explodes, electricity out, fan stops producing fumes, ---a goes to bed]

dddg: bye

[Curtains fall, Lights dim, SIG TERM sent to all processes and dddg speaks out the moral of the story in the backround.
"Listening to love songs is bad for health. Listen to metal instead. In the story which was told now, if ---a had heeded to dddg's advice and listened to metal, she would be leaning forward while banging her head. She would have never fallen back! "

SIG KILL sent to all processes. ]

We are not responsible for the side effects of head banging and listening to metal. They include but are not restricted to damaged fore head, loss of sanity and complete isolation from social circles.
Use at your own risk.


Abhijit Pai said...

Yeah, it's all wholly believable; all except " staring at some old buggy code" - really ?

Devadutta D Ghat said...

"Based on a true life story"
--I tried not to exaggerate, but somehow that line has slipped in..
But everything else is true :)

Anand said...

Do you know about the other fall on the road on Monday morning.. In all the 'keechad' on the road! The Attack continues.

Devadutta D Ghat said...

@anand: I keep telling her.. but she does not listen.. :)