Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Creative ways to dispose your godforsaken teddy bear.

Today was valentine's day and some people actually asked me what I did for valentine's day. These people obviously don't know me too well. While they hope to get an answer like, "I danced with my girl friend in the rain", I break and say things like
"I danced with my girl friend in freezing rain and both of us laid down on the bed later. In a hospital. Because we got pneumonia after all the dancing in freezing rain". This is when most people change subjects. Others, insist and I tell them what I did.

Well, here is what I did. I wrote this blog entry.

Valentine's day special entry ( HAS to be red only )
Assume you have bought a teddy bear on some retarded gift shop website which was throwing them away at negative price after rebate three months in advance of feb 14 in a "clearance of non sold clearance items" sale, thinking, that in 3 months, you may actually have a girl friend. But you wake up on this day and realize you still don't have a girlfriend (GF for short).

What do we do with this godforsaken teddy bear?
(no, its not a good idea to keep it for one more year, no fun that way).

We can try some stereotypical ideas which start from tribal style sacrifice of the teddy bear to using it as a voodoo doll. But these are old. Lets try something new. It should either be wiped off this planet or become as ubiquitous as the tooth brush.
  1. We can try target practice.
  2. We can set it to orbit the moon.
  3. Even better, make it the mascot of some hindi movie with a lot of K's in it. People will actually pay you get the first original excessively mushy, over hyped source of fake emotion.
  4. Or we can keep it as a test dummy and feed all the food I cook to see if it melts.
Or, you can simply locate some girl whom you like, give the bear and run like crazy. Its no longer your headache. After all, what in the name of Jon Bon Olan will you do with a teddy bear?

FREEDOM!! Mark The day!

btw, Happy Valentine's Day to all you normal people who managed to deliver Teddy Bears for whom it was bought :P

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