Saturday, July 28, 2012

Review: The Dark Knight Rises

Spoiler alert: Do not read any further if you have not seen the movie. I do not want to ruin any of your fun!

I have seen a lot of stupid movies in my life. The Batman Rises just tops them all.
I know you cannot expect logic in a movie adopted from a comic, but this movie is just ridiculously stupid.

So stupid that Ra.One seems like an Alfred Hitchcock's masterpiece in front of this movie. This movie is probably only better than Jodhaa Akbar. That's about it. Every other movie ever made is better than this. Even Tanikhe is better. Yes. I laughed so hard during the movie, that I thought I will be kicked out of the hall.

I will list a few blaring logic holes.

Bruce Wayne, a.k.a Batman (oh. I told everyone who he is!) in the very beginning of the movie is shown limping. In a subsequent scene, a doctor after examining an X-Ray, clearly says that cartilage in his knees are irreversibly damaged. So, this guy physically cannot even walk, but puts on a flimsy exoskeleton and tada! All his problems are gone. That thing needs no batteries, no nothing! It draws water molecules from Wayne's sweat and fuses it with anti-matter to generate electricity. No, this is not what the movie says, it's my explanation.

Let us for the time being assume his exoskeleton was powered by magic. Fine. But, that bane guy breaks Batman's back and throws him into a prison. There, an inmate tells him that one of the bones from his spine is protruding. So, he punches it back to place. You read it right. He punches a broken spine back it into place! Punches. I mean why is this guy in prison? Get him out and tell him to teach others how to punch a spine back into place! We can cut the time needed to do an M.D. course from 10 years into 3 minutes. Who knows, he may know how to punch heart attacks, migraines and cancers out of the body.

Ok, so the punch worked. Fine. This Bruce guy then goes and tries to escape from the prison, while everyone there starts chanting some nonsense. That is not the funny part. What cracked me up was that when this guy decides to try and climb, there is one random looking guy who ritualistically hands him a rope. Why is this guy there? Who paid him to do that job? One day he woke up and thought, hey, I have done many bad things in life, so let me redeem myself by handing out this rope to anyone who wishes to climb out. Is that it?

The final scene where Batman fights Bane is the most utterly ridiculous scene. So take this. Batman and Bane fight in the middle of the city, surrounded by thousands of cops. But, not one cop thinks he should draw his weapon and you know, shoot Bane?! Not only does no one shoot him, but they do not even come to help Batman.

I have seen the other 2 movies in this trilogy. They are really good. They have some logic.

This movie is like a broken JFET transistor. It has high impedance everywhere! No Logic!

My Rating: 1/5

1 comment:

purnateja ghat said...

2 things
How did Batman save gotham? discussed in detail here

how was ur post?